Sometimes people think being hard on themselves is the answer. That the more we push ourselves, the easier it becomes to achieve our goals. If you’ve been following my blog for a while now you’ll know this isn’t entirely true.
There’s research to show how not being self-compassionate makes it harder for us to pick ourselves up after a failure. We become overwhelmed by emotions and we learn less from our experiences. Instead of criticizing ourselves and pushing on without pause, we should use more self-compassion.
People often underestimate the value of self-compassion but I’m here to tell you why it might be exactly what we need. Self-compassion improves our resilience in the face of failure and it allows us to recover from setbacks with increased enthusiasm.
Instead of being our own worst enemies when things don’t go as planned, we open ourselves to learning and improving more healthily. Unlike self-criticism, self-compassion involves us being more mindful. Self-compassion is choosing to understand what we can improve on with a gentle approach; thinking less negatively about our mistakes and accepting the limitations of our human experience. Life is already challenging, we meet people we don’t get along with and hear things that don’t make us happy oftentimes. Self-compassion pushes against that tide.
Think about it, after a long hard day of dealing with difficult people, do you want to come home to your inner voice criticizing you or to your inner voice nurturing and encouraging you.
But enough with the intro, let’s get into why Self-Compassion is so powerful:
Self Compassion teaches self-kindness
Being kind to ourselves and considering our own feelings as important improves our well-being. It also informs our subconscious that we are deserving of love and care just like everyone else in the world.
Self Compassion keeps us in touch with our humanity
We begin learning that making mistakes is part of the human experience. Making mistakes is how we learn and become better. And sometimes, what we think is a mistake turns out to be a blessing.
Self-compassion helps us see everything from all angles instead of seeing what we do as wins and losses.
Self Compassion helps us be more mindful
Self-compassion teaches us to observe our feelings and thoughts. To not dismiss any pain we might feel because everything we feel is important. And when we can be more mindful we begin to raise our emotional intelligence.
Having a high emotional intelligence only brings value to our lives, there is no downside.
Self Compassion improves peace of mind
Self-compassion helps us remain calm when we are faced with rejection, criticism or failure. We become more productive, more resilient and less anxious.
A few Practices To Help Boost Your Self Compassion
- l Write down what you think about yourself and after you’re done, ask yourself if you would say any of those things to someone you care about.
- l Write yourself a love letter, say all the things you value about yourself and all your achievements. Seal it and read it later.