It’s no stretch to say emotional manipulators suck. The danger of emotional manipulation comes from how effective it can be. People can end up losing track of their own reality and at times their individuality.
It’s because of how dangerous emotional manipulation can be that I think it’s important to discuss it. It’s my hope that by talking about it we are able to recognize emotional manipulators before any permanent damage is done.
Make no mistake, no one should ever underestimate emotional manipulators — some of them are really skilled at hiding it. However, if you notice any of these signs I’m about to mention, it may be time to withdraw from whoever you suspect of being an emotional manipulator.
1. Their actions don’t match their words
Often times emotional manipulators will tell you all the nice things you want to hear. But when you look at their actions you’ll notice they don’t compliment their words.
They’re the type to tell you they’ll always have your back — Insisting on helping. And the moment you ask them to help like they said they would, they’ll act like you’re a nuisance and are being unreasonable.
They do this to make you question your reality/sanity. Don’t play their games.
2. They will make you question your reality often
They will lie, and lie often. You might bring up an issue that’s bothering you — maybe something they did or said and they’ll pretend they have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s just their way of making sure you don’t see them for who they truly are. Emotional manipulators are not good at taking accountability for their actions.
3. They will guilt trip you
Everything is going to be your fault when dealing with an emotional manipulator; there is simply no escaping this. If whatever you do doesn’t meet their interests, they will do whatever they can to make sure you feel bad about it. It’s to stop you from doing anything that makes you happy. It always has to be about them instead.
4. They are professional victims
No matter what they do — unless it’s good — they will blame someone else for what they do. They will never accept their role in anything that ends poorly, and if they do, someone will pay for it.
5. They compete with you over the pettiest things
Are you having a hard day and want to share it with your friend? Good luck, none of your problems will be validated by the emotional manipulator. They will tell you how they are having a harder time and how you should be thankful your problems are small compared to theirs.
Wanna share something good you did and how you’re proud of it? Watch as they tell you how it’s nothing worth celebrating because anyone can do it. They will say this while offering you unreasonable expectations of what an “actual achievement” looks like.
The issue here is the invalidation. No person with good intentions does this.
6. They use your vulnerabilities against you
You’ll share your deepest insecurities, and they’ll be used against you if you upset the emotional manipulator for whatever reason. Good friends do their best to protect your insecurities and respect your boundaries. But emotional manipulators only see an opportunity to hurt you if you “misbehave”.
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